Well at one point today I felt like Killing myself! Me and my mom got into a fight! My mom is trying to control my life and what I do or don't do..I'm 25 freakin years old and I still get treated like I'm 10. I Stuck up for myself for a change.
My cousin Ruthy came over, bought us a pizza and we were enjoying talkin' to each other and here comes my dear ole mother! and she flatly told my cousin that she wasn't welcomed in MY house.....Excuse me....?? I told my mother I am an Adult and I'm not a child and I think I can make my own descisions....
She got mad, got very quiet and stormed out of my apartment.....
This left me in tears and thoughts of suicide was wondering in my demented brain...I am so tired of being controled but yet at the same time, I try my hardest to please everyone around me, esp. my parents.. So its a very conflicting situation..thorw in the fact that my mom is a very emotional person and also suffers from Bipolar..its not pretty to say the least! My mom is such a control freak.
Anywayz, I was bummed thinkin about suicide..I took 2 darvacets b/c I do have a headache and I wanted to feel a little loopy. of course it helped my headache, tho i'm not feeling loopy but I'm very happy feeling..Right now, i'm happy for finally sticking up for myself....
Will I end my life b/c of this?? The jury is still out on that...but probably not..
I promise you all tho, If i start to feel suicidal again I will put myself in the hospital b/c I don't want to leave my children behind to put up with a penniless father and a control freak grandma. They need me, even though i'm insane...but i'm sure its just because i'm a victim of my own family.........
So don't fret. I'll still be around pouring out my heart and soul in my blog. :) rest assured.